It's funny how beautiful people look when they're walking out the door

sigh

2009-07-16T19:35:18Z

Well, I just realized something that has made me inconsolably upset.

At some point, without my realizing it, my Coach wristlet was stolen.

There wasn't any money or valuables in it or anything like that...but all of the notes that Greg has written me were inside of that little pouch.

I'm guessing someone was drunk, opened my purse, said "Hey, look, a Coach pouch!" (as I carry my camera, iPod, and cell phone on me at all times during parties for fear of theft), and decided to take it.

What pisses me off is that they didn't put the notes back once they realized there was no money in the wristlet. Honestly? Keep the goddamn thing. I didn't pay for it anyways, I found it and kept it when no one claimed it. The notes were obviously important to me.

I'm not quite angry anymore, honestly, just kind of sad that I'll never see them again.

Meh.

"You killed my duck!!!!"

2009-07-16T16:30:09Z

I finally watched The Doors last night.

I was positively enthralled for the entire two hours or so of it. It really was fascinating to watch even the tiniest aspects of Jim's life recreated on screen like that. My face was stuck in the ":D" position the whole time, because the movie followed No One Here Gets Out Alive almost precisely, and Val Kilmer was just...extraordinary. Stone really couldn't have picked a better actor.

My jaw just about dropped to the floor during The End, because, well, I knew that it was like that, I just wasn't fully expecting to see the club scene portrayed so accurately. When he fell to the stage, into the arms of shrieking groupies, I just about shot a load in my pants because Kilmer really did have Jim's mannerisms down pat.

I can rant and rave about every single scene of this film and how/why it was great. Don't think I can't, because I most certainly can. But I'm sure everyone is sick of hearing jubilation such as mine, so I'll spare my FL.

However, I will say this. Don't think that I'm unaware that Jim was a drug-addled, belligerent alcoholic who destroyed his life and his career. Don't think that I'm just some pothead who likes to groove on The Doors when she's baked. (though it IS amazing music to listen to when you're high, ever put on When The Music's Over when you're stoned?)I knew nothing about the culture of the times or about what kind of person Jim was when I first became a fan of The Doors. What got me to like them was the puzzly, dreamlike, complex lyrics and the powerful voice delivering them. I'm a sucker for good poetry, and Jim's is like a bullet to my heart. That's why I'm a fan.

When the inevitable happened, I couldn't stop crying for awhile. Guess that means I'm a little bitch XD But seriously, I contemplated getting a portrait of Jim's face tattooed on my body for about five minutes, and then I decided that I want to go to Paris in order to visit/lay flowers on his grave :D Greg agreed to go along with me.

So yeah. :D

Meh.

2009-07-13T16:32:13Z

You know you need to get back on stage again when you're having dreams about auditioning for shows. I scoured every theatre community in MA and the only thing that I even may be interested in is HERE...but they don't have a place to perform anymore.

Still, an Agatha Christie play would be pretty cool. Not quite Shakespeare, but not cutesy musical crap, either. (no offense to all the theatre nerds on my FL, just come on, you all know me. I like dark, heady things. Cheerful musicals are great, just not my type. They're just so...mainstream.) Of course I'll have to read the play in question first/analyze it/decide what to audition for/how to audition for it, but I'm crossing my fingers hoping they'll find a new place to perform.

I think being in a show again would make me feel loads better about myself and greatly improve my current emotional state.

Of course there's no way in hell that I'm degrading myself by getting involved with Little Theatre. Nor Stoughton STARS. I only do real shows, thanks.

Fuck my life, I miss the stage. It's almost so bad that I'm on the verge of, gasp, going back to school again. Just some writing classes and some theatre classes, savvy? So I'm not insane anymore.

So I initially was going to get Mirena last Thursday when I went to the family planning center, but my doctor advised against my doing that because it may not have been able to have been inserted properly. Something wasn't wide enough because I haven't had a baby yet, and it would have fallen out constantly.

I said that I didn't want to get on the pill again because the last time I was on the pill I HATED it, so she suggested what she uses, NuvaRing. I figured I'd give it a shot and AHAHA I LOVE IT SO MUCH!

Here's the deal: It's a little, rubbery ring that you insert vaginally. It's easy to insert if you have a tampon applicator...just take out the tampon, put the ring in the applicator, and do yo thang. You put it in, and it releases a steady flow of pregnancy-preventing hormones over the course of a month. After three weeks or so, you take it out and that's when you have your period.

I love it for several reasons. Firstly, I was always forgetting to take my goddamn pill every day, so it's good that I only have to worry about pregnancy protection once a month. Secondly, I have always suffered from an extremely erratic menstrual cycle. This is going to even me out nicely. Thirdly, as it works like birth control, I'm not going to have monstrous cramps anymore, either.

I think more women should know about this. :D At one point this weekend, Greg and I were messing around and he was able to feel it with his fingers, but when we actually commenced intercourse he was able to push it up farther and consequently was unable to feel it anymore. It kind of freaked him out a little bit at first but the problem was easily solved.

So yeah.

I am so. SO hungry right now.

Hmm.

2009-07-11T19:40:01Z

You know, I never really thought about it before, but Isadora and Narcissa would have an extremely interesting relationship. (No, perverts, not that way.)

Back in the day of the Shrieking Shack, Narcissa had that whole "Oh just LOOK at you, darling, let me do your hair! Have one of my dresses! Maybe I can find you a nice match..." kind of thing, and Is was just like "..."

Same thing happened over at fiery_inception 'cept it was a way more intelligent kind of "Oh just LOOK at you, darling, I'm going to take you under my wing..." kind of sneaky snake thing.

I don't know which one would be best. Isadora loathes Lucius, Lucius likes nothing more than to terrify her 'cos they're cousins and whatnot....LOL NARCISSA AND ISADORA ARE RELATED BY MARRIAGE AHAHA THIS IS FUNNY :D

...Idk.

Ashe Romeo is down with the Zepp.

2009-07-07T18:08:03Z

http://www.livejournal.com/update.bml
Ignore the fact that I look like a skanky ho/myspace slut in that picture. Look at the shirt.

It used to be a Led Zeppelin t-shirt. And it was extremely baggy. I bought it a couple months ago, never wore it because it didn't fit right/the collar was uncomfortable, and last night I looked at it and was like "Well, shit, this is a cute Zepp shirt, god damn would it be a WASTE if I didn't wear this..." and opted to make a tube top, but then I decided that I wear TOO MANY tube tops and well, I made a halter top instead and I LOVE THE WAY IT CAME OUT AND FITS AND SQUEE ASHE IS PROUD OF HERSELF :D

In other, pointless news, I was called hippie trash last night by someone who shall remain anonymous.

This is what I have to say to that, thanks to my mentor in the ways of pot culture:

Hippie trash? The FUCK yes I am.

You call me a pothead? I'm going to quote Tino's friend Mike on that one. "Pothead" is kind of like the word "nigger" to us. We use it affectionately towards one another, but it's most unwelcome when someone uses it with the intent of offending us.

I feel sorry for those poor souls who look down upon the lifestyle, because they really are sadly misinformed. What people don't realize is the fact that there is a wealth of culture centered around the drug, and that habitual marijuana users are, more often than not, the most ingenuous and intelligent people you will ever come across in your life. Think about it. A pothead, a REAL pothead will look at virtually any object within reason and be able to make a bong or a pipe out of said object. A real pothead will be able to figure out how to control the air flow in a room, using physics, in order to ensure smoke escape. We're constantly thinking of new devices and methods to best utilize the plant, aka get as high as we can with as little weed possible. Hello? Gravity bongs?

Whenever I smoke, I get the most fantastic, brilliant, wonderful ideas. I do my best writing when I'm stoned. I sleep beautifully the nights that I toke a bowl before I go to sleep.

Also, in addition to all of that...

Drinking makes you belligerent. It makes you lose control of what you're doing. People who drink to get trashed thrive among negative emotions, get angry, and if they drink too much, there's getting sick on top of it all, along with the threat of alcohol poisoning and all that bad stuff.

Me? I would much rather, MUCH rather pass a bowl around, listen to some Zepp and socialize. You don't get sick from weed. It's physically and chemically impossible to OD on THC.

I've stopped drinking to get trashed because of marijuana, because I would much rather, MUCH rather be high than be drunk.

And that's all I have to say on the subject :D Excuse me while I pack a bowl and make me a grilled cheese :D

oh no

2009-07-06T17:02:44Z

I partied way...WAY too hard this weekend.

Friday night, Greg threw a party. A decent amount of people showed, but for awhile it was just me, him, Ian, and Mehow. We sat at the dinner table, broke open like 200 packs of jumping jacks, and disassembled the lot of them. I was the best at unwinding the strings for some reason. ^_^ Mehow and I were kicking back beers like water, and by the time more people started coming over, we were decently buzzed.

Greg broke out the ARSENAL of fireworks (pictures later when my computer gets fixed, sorry guys x_x) and I was delighted to watch them all go off. I took lots of nice pictures and I felt like I was watching Harry Potter spells go off XD (something Dalton and I joked about profusely as the evening dragged on) I drank about 10 coronas and 2 Heinekens and I smoked a half a pack of cigarettes (the other half I gave out ._.) Fitzi drank a pint of fireball whiskey to his face and was so trashed that he kept falling off the bench. Ian had to take care of him <3 He was also so drunk that he was singing Journey. :D More on that in a bit.

Lessee, Dalton and I splitting butts and talking about AnimeBoston...Greg yelling about how ALL my cigarettes were gone, Tony showing me the tattoo design he's getting, me blaring Organ Grinder...

Um, eventually everyone took off, leaving me, Greg, and Jake. We had a full ziploc bag full of disassembled jumping jacks, so we dicked around tossing them about like the drunken pyros we are. Jake, normally very quiet, was very much getting into it, and nearly burned off my feet/set my hair on fire because he was tossing them UP as opposed to OUT. Come 3 AM they're still setting these things off, so I was like fuck this, I'm going to bed. I cleaned up a bit first, though, which saved Greg's ass as his parents came home at like 8AM for a couple minutes before going back out.

Four AM or so Greg staggers into bed with me after falling into something while simultaneously turning the light on/therefore scaring the SHIT out of me (I hate being scared awake), slurs about how he and Jake set off the WHOLE BAG of jumping jacks (MEN!!!!), wraps his entire body around me in a drunken sort of spoon hug and promptly passes out with me unable to move or get comfortable. :D

And that was party number ONE.

Party number two, Alex's house. Greg and I showed up with eighteen Heinekens. I drank one beer and hung out outside for a bit with the boys because that's where the fireworks were at, and notice that there's a bowl going around.

Not wanting to endure the inane conversations of the females in the house, I smile prettily and ask to hit the bowl. The guy who's weed it was says yes, of course, so I hit it, and um...

Well, I didn't find out until later but the shit was FUCKING. DRO.

I smoked it expecting it to be mids, nope, it was dro. So Ashe gets fucked up. IMMEDIATELY.

Fitzi comes outside, gives me a cigarette, and we end up chatting about music for an extremely long time. Then, it was "drunken HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA, WOOOO" with fireworks going off/every whichway time, and then I decided I wanted to dance and went back inside. I never dance unless I'm extremely fucked up. I was displeased that Greg didn't want to dance WITH me, so I danced with this random dude along with hermionejennor and mad other girls...

Let's see, I ask hermionejennor for some vodka in exchange for a beer, and she said just have some, so I go to make myself a mixed drink. All there was in the fridge was mountain dew, but I figured I was too drunk to realize it would taste bad (It was watermelon vodka) so I mixed the drink anyways.

It wasn't bad at all.

It was fucking DELICIOUS.

I know that watermelon vodka and mountain dew sounds like a disgusting combination, but it was PHENOMENAL. I had everyone at the party sample it and they all were in perfect agreement that it was a delicious mixed drink. I don't even know how to describe it...it was like...watermelon-flavoured marble soda. Couldn't even tell there was alcohol in it. And that's how I got even MORE fucked up, lol.

After that Greg went to go pick up Andrew, and I positively launched myself on him when he showed up in a huge hug :D We chat in the kitchen for a bit, where Fitzi has me do a shot of Skyy(sp?) cherry vodka. I really am surprised that I drank so much and didn't throw up that night, come to think of it. Didn't even feel sick, AND I was kicking back beers (Nine of them. Greg showed up with eighteen and left with none)

Um, me and Andrew danced and sang to Electric Feel in the living room, which was great fun, then Fitzi showed up and me, him, and Mehow had a giant sing-off to "Don't Stop Believin'" :D Yeah, we were trashed, but it was such fun and made for an epic party moment.

Andrew and I sat on the front steps, smoking a couple cigarettes and talking about stuff, then we realized the party was coming to a close because mad heads were leaving and nobody besides Greg, Eric and I wanted to go break into this factory. So we dipped. :D

Good times. I love drunken summer nights <3

In which Ashe talks about stuff...

2009-07-02T16:46:43Z

So for the fuck of it, I weighed myself after I got out of the shower around Monday.

One hundred and thirty eight was the outcome.

I am not pleased, in fact, I’m positively disgusted with myself.

I hate my body, I really, really do. This is the cue for all you LJers to say stop whining and do something about it instead of bitching to the internet at large, right? Well, I am. I’ve decided that after the Fourth I’m not leaving my house until I’ve dropped at least ten pounds. I have the time to do it, as the start date at Boston Financial was pushed back to July 20th, so I’ll be able to actually accomplish this. I’ve been relatively good all week, too. Whenever I get too hungry, I just light up a cigarette. I keep myself well hydrated, and I only indulge in one full meal a day. I don’t know if it’s working, but I won’t really know until next week when I start cracking down and going on morning runs/doing crunches again.

Fuck my life.

In other news, I’ve been reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows again. I <3 DH so much in the face, however, reading it has made me wonder if Isadora fails as a character due to her lack of Slytherin attributes. This leads me into the usual “Define
ambition” dilemma, which I always seem to run into. Is a desperate desire to
please one’s family strong enough to be considered as Slytherin ambition? Hmmph.

Does anyone know if Makani still does commissions? (the artist on dA who draws Harry Potter characters like Disney? Beautiful work, I think.) I absolutely LOVED the portrait she did of Elisabeth von Felden and Beowulf Grindelwald…I was wondering if I could commission her to do the Roquelaure children. I really hope she still does that…

Hell, it would be sweet if 5x3minutes could do it, too….(please gabe? I’ll pay you XD)

Still love Charlie Weasley in the face. He snuck downstairs to regrow his hair the
night before Bill and Fleur’s wedding, and then he got drunk and sang ditties with
Hagrid XD Ooooh Charlie, I love you.<3

To everyone on HC: I apologize profusely for my lack of activity. I know I owe a lot of people tags, Regulus, Rox, and Arnie especially, and I promise I’ll get to it as soon as I’m able. My computer completely shit the bed and I’m using my brother’s laptop on occasion to check things. I’m very, very sorry!

Still don’t know how exactly I’m going to get my Ravenclaw tattoo. I want something unique, something like a portrait of Rowena Ravenclaw with “Wit beyond measure is Man’s greatest treasure” or something of the like, I don’t know. I just don’t want the regular House symbol for Ravenclaw. I want to be unique.

Here’s something funny…Greg just spent $100 on fireworks yesterday, right? Drove all the way up to New Hampshire to get them, because he’s a pyro. And now it looks like it’s going to rain all weekend.

I’m absolutely ripshit about this, as Fourth of July is my favourite holiday and I was looking forward to seeing bright lights in the sky. =[ Fuck you, mother nature, fuck you. Looks like all I’m doing is getting drunk on the Fourth. *sad*

Dazed and Confused

2009-06-29T15:12:44Z

So Saturday night was positively phenomenal in the sense that we turned down a party to hang out at Chev's house. We had a bowl, a bubbler, and a blunt going around between the five of us and the experience was beautifully surreal. It was right after that huge thunderstorm, and the air was thick with fog. We could hear the music from the feshta right down the street, and that just added to the beauty of it all. Greg and I very nearly walked to the feshta in order to dance together, but Tino advised against that, considering that I was very clearly baked out of my mind and would have gotten arrested XD

Later, we watched a very good film called Into the Wild, which I enjoyed profusely. It was a great time.

Sunday we were GOING to go to the aquarium and see the fishes, but we ended up skipping out in order to bum around the house all day and watch episodes of Salad Fingers for hours. Romantic, huh?

And then I came home and I had a dream that I was at this hotel for a convention and that bindusara jumped into the pool fully garbed in his Alucard costume, and that for some reason there was a live show of Repo!, which I was involved with somehow but skipped out on in order to hit the con. In this dream, I was also trying to find a leathery-but-not-quite-leathery blue fabric to sew together a last minute Richter Belmont coat. I wonder now if this is my subconscious telling me to finish that particular costume? 0_o In reality, (not fucked-up-Ashe's-dream-land) I have the coat about 75% finished, I just need to sew white fabric onto the cuffs and the lapels, and fuck I just remembered why I gave up on Richter...it was because I couldn't even BEGIN to figure how to do his gloves. ;.; (How the FUCK are you supposed to make LEATHER. FLARE OUT LIKE THAT? It's bloody IMPOSSIBLE!)

Lol, I dream about cosplay, that's fucking pathetic.

I think CV is a wee bit too ambitious for me. I should just stick to the nice new Yukari design I sketched the other day (even though THAT'S ambitious as all fuck, too) Once I colour it I'll put it up so I can be criticized in my fail attempt at cosplay design :D

This entry really isn't making too much sense, is it? Hem, oh well. A very good looking French boy with blonde hair, grey eyes, and a LOVELY facial structure is flirting at (not with, I'm faithful, AT) me on VampireFreaks. He looks like Lestat. I'm flattered, even if I'm taken. Lol :D

My dream..

2009-06-26T17:12:18Z

...Is to find a man who is actually taller than me, for once, and who enjoys Paradise Kiss as much as I do, and who would be George to my Yukari.

I've wanted this since I was sixteen. I have cosplayed Yukari so many times but I've never had a George and I always feel so lonely seeing Gabe and Lisa as Arashi and Miwako when I don't have a George =[

*sad Ashe*

Someday, maybe =[

Sexual Harassment

2009-06-23T03:26:02Z

I was reading this blog entry earlier about sexual harassment, and was legitimately bothered by it. It wasn't the blog itself that disturbed me, however, it was more of the fact that there were so many women who came forward to tell their tales about harassment in the workplace.

It's happened to me, too.

That isn't a revelation, by the way. I knew that I'd been sexually harassed before, but what shocked me was how blase I happened to have been about the situations at the times they occurred.

Exhibit A, for example, which occurred at the coffee shop I used to work at. My boss had this friend of hers bring her rolls and cakes and things from the local grocery store. This friend, an elderly man, got it for free because he worked there, and in exchange for him bringing her these items, received free meals and coffee at the shop.

Part of my job was to go outside of the establishment every day. I had to unload the groceries from his car. He wouldn't help me at all, he would just...stand there. And look at me. And prattle on uselessly about inane subjects that I had zero interest in. Inane prattling soon morphed into "I see you walk here every day, you know..." and one day, he started babbling about Salisbury beach and shit and eventually was like "I'll take you up there, come on, I'll buy you dinner and we can have wine and stuff." I thought he was joking so I just kind of laughed and wandered back inside.

Which was when he gave me his card and told me to call him.

I rejected him flat-out, told him I had a boyfriend, and he got all thin-lipped and stormed out. The next day, when I was bringing him his coffee, he started getting mean. Like, openly calling me a bitch and a whore, and telling me that I ought not to dress the way I do (when I was wearing a Manson t-shirt and jeans, yeah, okay buddy.)

I started smoking more and he bitched every time I smoked. "My so-and-so died of lung cancer, you're going to die too, ruin that face of yours..." yeah whatever. One day I spilled a tiny bit of his coffee over the rim and he started calling me a "Stupid, clumsy bitch" openly in front of my boss, her husband, and the entire restaurant, so I went to my boss's husband and told him how uncomfortable he made me.

His reaction?

He started yelling at me. He told me that I was nothing but a snobby little brat who had no concept of how the real world operates (even though I've been in food service for almost five years now and KNOW HOW TO ACT and have the BEST running history at Friendly's and the most customer praise, FUCK. YOU. ASSCLOWN, I had enough WOW points to go on VACATION!) He said that no, he wasn't going to tell Mr. So-and-so to cut the shit because he does "a whole lot for us", and that I ought to get an attitude adjustment.

Needless to say, I quit soon after. I was getting paid 2.63 an hour under the table to basically run a general store, and wasn't getting any tips at all, maybe $15 a day. (Really, it's a COFFEE SHOP, motherfuckers, with the SAME BLUE COLLAR CUSTOMERS EVERY DAY, who the hell do you THINK is going to tip?!?!) I wasn't about to deal with that fucking creep every day for shit money. I remember how happy Greg was when I quit that place.

But seriously, I still see this degenerate weirdo. He honks and waves at me whenever he sees me walking around and it skeeves me the fuck out.

Anyways, aside from my rambling story, what I have to say about sexual harassment is that it's really surprising how many women are forced to silently deal with it in the workplace. Us waitresses especially. Our money depends on how nice we are and how much we smile, and how many of these socially inadept weirdos are going to take that as an invitation?

It's been happening to me ever since I started waitressing, when I was fourteen years old. I won't share all my stories, I'm sure that no one wants to hear about the fucking creepers that I've dealt with in my lifetime, but it sucks, you know?

What else can we do in that situation? We smile nervously, hiding the panic in our eyes. We thank them for their disturbing compliments. We try to be polite to the best of our ability, because we don't want to jeopardize our jobs. We deal. And it fucking escalates. They wait outside for us, they make it impossible for you to escape.

And they know your name. Because you're wearing a tag.

Oh hot damn. This is my JAM.

2009-06-16T03:56:52Z

:D

No lie.

*holds her hand over her heart and sings patriotically :D*

Soooo fuuuulll

2009-06-12T04:48:16Z

I ate my first full meal in like a week today.

I've been living off of Ramen noodles for about four days, and I went out to eat, and I got this cheeseburger at IHop, and it was the most succulent piece of meat that I've ever eaten in my life. It was so tender and juicy and they can cook meat rare there which is like catching a rare pokemon with me. Ooooh my gods, it was delicious, it was positively dripping blood and just NOMNOMNOM. Judge away. I think I'm part werewolf because I like my meat so rare.

The best time was at Fire and Ice where they cooked it so rare that it was hot on the outside and slightly cooler in the middle. UHUHUH. So. Fucking. Good. Don't even lecture me about it not being healthy, so don't care, it's delicious. :D

Don't know IHop, guys, that place is bomb.

Anyways, I'm not hungry right now and it's a very good feeling. I think I've been so on edge for the past week or so BECAUSE I was hungry, and had no cigarettes.

Speaking of which, does anyone on my FL smoke marb reds?

And have noticed that they taste...soapy lately? 0.o

ALSO

2009-06-11T06:42:51Z

Tino showed me V for Vendetta today after I told him I hadn't seen it. Didn't have a choice XD

Everyone who knows me also knows that I have made several attempts to watch this movie (all of them inebriated), and none of them have been successful. This time, I actually sat and watched the whole thing, FINALLY.

Wooooow what the fuuuuck is all I have to say about it at the moment because it's nearly three in the morning and I can't really get into the specifics of why I liked it so much because I'm sooo tired.

The film made me very, very upset, but like...in a good way.

V isn't completely a good guy and I liked that.

Lol @ futuristic, fascist(? again, 3 AM), really, really sexist society.

Also the ending was just BAMF. :D

All right I'm going to bed now.

xsectumsemprax @ 2009-06-11T01:57:00

2009-06-11T06:18:57Z

Well, here's the deal. Greg used to rock skinny jeans every single day...black ones. He legitimately had about 15 pairs of the same pants. Lip Service brand, skintight emo kid Hot Topic shit. (Don't judge. It's not because he's trying to be a scene kid, it's because he's legitimately thin enough to pull the look off. Why not, you know?)

One day, he decided he was sick of wearing black all the time, and went on a grand adventure to replace every single pair of pants that he owns.

And...he did it. He went and bought one pair of equally-as-tight Lip Service jeans for every black pair he owns, except his new pants are all bluejeans instead of black jeans. Don't ask me why he sought to REPLACE said black pants, I'm guessing it's the OCD. x_x

Anyways, he didn't want to wear the black ones anymore so...he gave them to me. I now have fifteen pairs of tightass black jeans. Which I do love to wear, but really? Fifteen pairs?

I keep two of them to wear around. (And damn do they look cute on me, if I say so myself, I love being the same size as him. It's SO convenient.) The rest...well...

Helllooooo, fabric!!!

I just spent the last four hours working on a skirt.

See?

It's not as uneven as it appears in the photograph, I'm just exhausted and can't do anything at the moment, lol.

Everything is actually sewn on, I know the cross looks like it's just kind of chilling, lol.

I'm proud of myself, I haven't really made clothes since high school when we all had that Fruits phase. I mean yeah this still needs work and it's definitely not the best thing I've done but I at least made SOMETHING. To someone who hasn't really sewn in ages, this is an accomplishment, lol.

:D

Love the way it fits, too. It's tight at the waist and it flares out like a schoolgirl skirt :DDD

Ummmmlol.

2009-06-10T05:28:57Z

Well, in order to repair the horrendous damage that my hair has undergone due to the multiple dye jobs that I've put it through, I'm undergoing the mayonaise treatment.

1 Cup Mayonaise (room temperature)
Two tablespoons olive oil
Two egg yolks

It's working quite splendidly. I'm already noticing the differences (and my hair isn't fading to blonde at the bottom, it's just turning the red that I initially wanted but forgot I was doing when it came out purple XD) It feels a lot nicer.

I fully expected to be nauseated by the smell of the mayonaise, but it really wasn't that bad. I just kind of held my breath while I was mixing the stuff together and wore gloves when I put it in my hair. Just like dye. *shrug*

So um, if your hair feels damaged, give this a shot. Yeah it's gross, but it works.

...

2009-06-09T03:48:18Z

Intensity is on FearNet.

I haven't thought about that book/movie in a very long time, and when I saw it I instantly sat down and watched both parts. I babbled incessantly to anyone who'd listen about how much of a badass Chyna Shepherd is as a character and how much I love her. She really is quite the badass, too. I remember in the book how she busted herself out of the chair she was tied to, driven by her determination to save Ariel, completely fucking herself up in the process...ah, she's so, SO cool. They really couldn't have picked a better actress to portray her in the film, too. Yeah she looks a bit old, but she was fabulous, she had her down pat.

I want to read it again, but I appear to have misplaced my copy.

There's a very funny episode of South Park on.

Also, this made me scratch my head a bit.

http://news.aol.com/article/anne-frank-photo/518576?icid=main|aimzones|dl1|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fnews.aol.com%2Farticle%2Fanne-frank-photo%2F518576

What's up with this noise? Why would they do that? What is the point of seeing what Anne Frank would have looked like had she lived? What about all the other people who died in the concentration camps? o_O

Yeah...not much else to say. Distracted Ashe is distracted...

...jigga what?

2009-06-08T19:32:13Z

Hi Ashley!

Thank you for reaching out to me regarding the customer service position starting on June 29. I am waiting to confirm the start date and I will start having candidates come in to be fingerprinted. You are on the top of my list and I hope to have you working here by June 29.

....you know, since they didn't call me after a week I assumed I didn't think that I *had* gotten the job after all...but I did. I really, really did. O_O And here's proof. She got back to me within like 20 minutes too XD

Woooooah Kitty's mood has certainly improved....I'm even rocking out to this song XD

It's kind of sad considering that I can hear Tino's voice in my head. You know, "sit down white girl" kind of deal XDDD

Distracting myself from the bullshit in my life.

2009-06-08T17:22:01Z

What's your favorite thing to order for takeout (or takeaway)?

View other answers

Listen guys. I'm not going to lie to you all. I can't cook worth a damn. Takeout is my form of sustenance.

I'll list this to make it more manageable.

Town Spa: Extra cheese, light sauce, thick crust. Lisa introduced this combination of modifications to me, and it makes the pizza so. fucking. good. I usually can't finish the whole thing even though it's a small pizza, so what do I do? Put in the fridge and save it for later. That kind of pizza cold is just *drooltake* Especially when you have the drunken munchies.
South Garden: I like this restaurant because the way they make Peking Ravioli is really different. They're not gigantic dumplings, like they're bite-sized and really very yummy. I don't like the big ones because they're soggy sometimes and the texture gets to me, but these guys are usually well done. Omnom.

I actually can't think of anything else. My mind is too distracted at the moment. I think I'm going to take a hot bath with Cradle of Filth on.

Yeah.

The Birthday Massacre...doesn't suck balls? 0.o Thank you, Pandora <3

BIRTHDAY PRESENT FOR QQ!!!!

2009-06-03T05:20:53Z

I know it's very late, but I finally was able to think of a way for it all to come together, sooo....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY QQ!!!!!!!!

I bring you fic!!

Title: Frosting and Sunsets
Characters: NecroRaver, Apocrypha
Summary: Apocrypha tries a bit too hard sometimes, and with her Lord's birthday today, she tries WAY too hard.

If this is OOC, I apologize, I just wanted it to be a cutesy kind of thing for your birthday <3

Frosting and Sunsets
By Ashe, for QQ <3

Night was falling over Necropolis.

A thin blade of a moon was hanging perilously above the city, and the dying sunlight painted the sky like streaks of blood. The air was heavy and pungent, and the svelte fourteen-year-old was gasping and panting as she scrambled her way up the hill, balancing a huge box in her arms.

“Come on, come on, and come on, CAREFUL, careful…” Apocrypha mumbled to herself, her smallish features hardening with concentration. It was the sort of focused expression that a kitten would take on when trying to catch a flea.

She stopped climbing the steep hill when she was able to find a place that was flat enough to rest upon, and it was here where she gingerly set her burden down and plopped down on the ground. Her ballet-shoe clad feet swung in the air, and her black miasma crept up and down her legs, dripping from the tips of her toes. Smiling halfheartedly, she spoke to it, running it through her fingers.

“Do you think he’ll like it?” she asked the slime, her brow furrowing into worry lines. “I sure HOPE he likes it, I spent all day…”

The phantasmagoric substance did not talk back to her, but she FELT differently, having voiced her concern to it. Less nervous. More emboldened.

Shielding her eyes (which by now had begun to cry the black sludge) she peered to the top of the hill and saw him. HIM. NecroRaver, her Lord, her Master, her saviour, the reason why she was climbing this steep hill in near darkness with a heavy, fragile box in her arms! Her heart skipped several beats.

She had expected him to be here, but she had not expected…this. There was something catastrophically beautiful about the way that he gazed out upon His city, and she felt a swell of pride in her chest knowing that she was under His dark wing. He was silhouetted nearly to blackness and was still a ways up the hill, but her nervousness had given way to excitement and she was on her feet again, climbing with the box in her arms.

Unfortunately, however, excitement had dampened her caution, and she slipped a bit. A rock came tumbling down the ravine and she nearly fell on her behind.

And…he turned around.
And saw her.
SAW her!

Mortified, terrified, scarlet flags raising in her cheeks, she tried to act as if she had actually MEANT to flail about idiotically like that. You stupid, stupid, STUPID bitch! she thought viciously. So much for SURPRISING him, huh?

“My…lord,” she said, regaining at least some kind of grace despite the fact that she wanted nothing more than to turn tail and bolt. “Allow me to present a-er-a GIFT. For you.”

He said nothing, but merely looked at her as if she was some sort of insect. Or at least she thought. She had no idea what he was thinking, none at all. Her heart was hammering in her chest and his face was still, for the most part, in shadow.

It was then that Apocrypha made an incredibly stupid decision.

She thought she would DANCE up the hill. Impress him that way. Of course.

Dipping her head slightly, she recalled all the ballet lessons that her idiot mother had impressed upon her from the old days, and pulled herself slowly up onto her toes. Balancing the box in the crook of one arm, like a waitress, she tentatively began to scale the hill again. He watched her intently, still saying nothing, and then—she stumbled.

This time she was unable to stop herself. Her foot gave way, and she not only fell, but SLID down the hill, all the way down to the little cliff where she had paused to rest before. The box fell easily out of her arm and tumbled with her. Crying out, she tried to catch it, but was only able to catch HALF of it. She had ripped the box in half, and the top two layers of the cake she had worked so hard on all day went sliding down the ravine. Miserably, she stared down at the bottom layer, the USELESS layer, the one that didn’t have all the confection candy or edible flower petals or…anything. She felt like crying. Not only had she fucked up the gift, but she’d humiliated herself in front of the one person she cared about. She couldn’t even turn around to face him.

Minutes passed, and the sun seemed to completely go out. That wasn’t true, though. It was just a shadow-HIS shadow. He was standing behind her. Her heart sped up again, though not in a good way. She was terrified…she would pay for this lunacy. A cake. A CAKE? What HAD she been thinking?

“I baked you a cake,” she said miserably.
Silence.
“Because it’s um…it’s your birthday.”
More silence.

She sighed, and began to rise to her feet, intending on getting on her knees and apologizing profusely before dashing back to her little room in the chapel. But then she saw that he had sat down next to her. His facial expression was completely unreadable. Unreadable…but somehow…NOT murderously angry?

She swallowed hard as he reached over, flinched, sure that he was going to hit her or—SOMETHING, but instead, he gingerly picked up the bottom half of the cake with his good arm.

“Chocolate,” he said almost bemusedly.

Apocrypha laughed. It was a brightly jagged sound.

“Y-yes,” she said, babbling madly. “Well, the CAKE is vanilla, I wasn’t really SURE if you liked chocolate or um, vanilla, I was GOING to make this Russian cake but I wasn’t TERRIBLY sure if you’d even LIKE that, or if you even LIKE cake, or eat cake.”
Silence. He was looking at her very curiously. It was the same expression that was on his face the day that they’d kissed, that one kiss that she held in her heart like a thorn with sweet poison. He did not kiss her now, but that look in his eyes was scaring her.

“DO you eat cake?” she asked timidly.

More silence. And then he pointed at the sky.

The stars were coming out. She looked up at them, and smiled, realizing that his arm, the good one, was very close to hers. Their fingers were touching slightly, she didn’t dare-didn’t DARE, but it was enough.

“Happy birthday, my lord,” she nearly whispered.

It always would be enough.

Well.

2009-06-02T23:18:08Z

Let's see.

I went in for that interview today thinking I would be a fail and it would be a huge waste of time. I took the assessments and I scored 88% on the call center stimulation and the message retaining sections, and for the typing test, I scored 100% accuracy with 63 words per minute. Thought it was going to be somewhere around the area of 35, so that surprised me. I hit it off extremely well with my interviewer and I got the job as a temp. I start on the 29th and I want to be excited, but given the sudden turn of events in my life, I'm not.

My family is falling apart.

My mother has been hiding money and my father found out about it. Rather than fight it out for a few days, they're actually divorcing this time. On top if it, my father is most likely terminally ill, so to cry out for attention, the fucking bitch walked out of the house bending over and bemoaning about how she's "sick".

We're losing the house in August, in all likelihood, my father lost his job because his boss is pissed about the doctor's notice saying he ought to be out of work for a week, my brother is saying that he just doesn't care anymore and is leaving anyways, and here I am, all alone, about to smoke a bowl because I'm depressed and don't want to deal with shit.

Greg showed me The Wall on Sunday and I absolutely hated it except for the Trial scene at the end. I was going to dedicate a post to it, but I don't have the heart for it right now. If someone wants to comment and talk about it, I'll do that, but basically, this is why I hated it. I agree that it's creative as hell and artistic and brilliant, but I did NOT like it.

The lead character is a whiny little bitch who cries about every single misfortune that's ever befallen him. Whaah, daddy died. Whaah, I have an Oedipal complex because my mother neglected me. Whaah my girlfriend cheated on me. Whaah, I was artistically suppressed in school. Whaaah.
I did not, did NOT appreciate the fucking misogyny in that film. Dude, so your girlfriend's a whore, that doesn't mean that all of them are. Should have paid attention to her and maybe she wouldn't have cheated on you.
I had no idea what was going on for 75% of it, and if that makes me an idiot, so what.

I discussed it with Tino briefly today and he told me that my interpretation was way, way off, but was too tired to talk about it with me. If I'm wrong, go ahead and tell me, but like that's the impression I got from it. -.-

I don't know what to say anymore.

EDIT--

One more bit about the wall, Kaila.

*during the Trial scene*
Greg: That's kind of a scary picture...
Me: Yeah....
*few minutes*
Me: Actually...
Greg: 0.o?
Me: It looks like the shit zhalin used to draw 0.o

HELP PLZ KAY THANKS

2009-05-28T18:28:16Z

OH HAI GUYS.

I HAVE A TYPING/ASSESSMENT TEST ON TUESDAY.

AS IN MY BROTHER'S COMPANY ACTUALLY LOOKED AT MY RESUME.

AND CALLED ME IN FOR AN ASSESSMENT FOR THEIR OPEN POSITION.

AS IN I HAVE A CHANCE AT A REAL JOB IN A CALL CENTER.

What do I do?

Typing assessment? What does that mean?

HOW DO I NOT FUCK THIS UP?!

Lol.

2009-05-27T02:57:05Z

I had a very nice evening.

Greg and I hung out at Tino's for a bit. We watched a movie called Thirteen. It was pretty fucked up. The camera angles bothered me at first, but the tumbling and the use of light and colour grew on me eventually, especially in the drunk/drugged up scenes. You don't notice that the latter half of the film is in icy colours until the very last scene, where it changes back to warmer tones. I liked that. I liked the movie. It was very decent.

Um, we watched an episode of In Treatment together, which I enjoyed somewhat, and spent a couple hours rotting in front of Family Guy. I straightened his hair, he straightened mine, we ate cookies and I drank diet coke. Lots of cuddling and gayness. <3

I finally just lost my temper with Becky. I mean, I am trying to do what Greg and Tony want me to do, to let the past go and go on with my life (he apologized, by the way, in an EXTREMELY adult fashion of which I was impressed and very grateful. I don't dislike him anymore, I actually think he's a decent person.), but god DAMN it does that whore piss me off. I can't stand people who fake personality. I can't stand people who try to buy friends. And most of all, I fucking HATE girls who, after a breakup, whore themselves around the crew until one of the single boys makes the unfortunate decision of attachment. She needs so desperately to be in a relationship that she'll take ANYONE and say "I love you" within three days.

Dumb. Bitch.

And then she's pretending to be all cutesy on Facebook. "Oh me? I HIDE from cameras! Little old innocent me! Tee hee!" -.- Bull. Shit. So I called her out on her flagrant act and told her to stop pretending to be modest when she obviously isn't. I kind of regret that now, but only because I don't want it to turn into a huge drama fest.

But damn it, I can dislike whoever the fuck I want.

I'm going to read more It and go to sleep now. Goodnight.

Conversations with my boyfriend.

2009-05-26T17:08:40Z

Me: I'm SO FUCKING PUMPED for the new Tarantino movie.
Greg: I'm not. At all.
Me: WHY?! Tarantino's take on an aspect of WORLD WAR II, are you fucking kidding me, it's going to be AMAZING.
Greg: No it's not, it's going to be stupid. They aren't going to take it seriously.
Me: What...?
Greg: He's going to make fun of the war. War movies need to be serious.
Me: It's not MAKING FUN of war, honey, it's black humour. Are you saying that M*A*S*H is stupid? That Catch-22 was stupid? That's Tarantino's way. You were laughing at the OD scene in Pulp Fiction, weren't you? ODing is NOT funny, generally, right?
Greg: I'm telling you, man, veterans are going to be pissed.
Me: They're all DEAD.
Greg: No they're not!
Me: World War II vets, are you serious? Highly doubt that there are enough of them alive still to make a fuss over a little black humour. Nam vets, yeah, but WWII vets?
Greg: What's wrong with you? You have no respect for your freedom.
Me: I do SO have respect for my freedom. My grandfather was a badass. He went back and forth to Normandy saving the wounded until he got nailed with sharpnel. I just happen to think Tarantino's a badass too.
Greg: You could be speaking German right now.
Me: So? I happen to think German is a very sexy language.
Greg: Well...actually...you're Italian. You'd be good.
Me: Damn straight.

Update!

2009-05-20T20:29:52Z

redcarpet_grave is updated.

Enjoy!

Um...

2009-05-20T19:49:08Z

Someone invited me to a Jashinism cult on VampireFreaks, and I actually thought it was a real religion for about five seconds. Until I read up on it, that is.

My official deduction in this regard is that anyone who follows a religion based off of a fucking anime-ESPECIALLY Naruto-needs to kill themselves.

And that's all I have to say on the subject before I beat my head into a wall.