It's funny how beautiful people look when they're walking out the door

So I'm not even going to talk about the blowjob that I gave my boyfriend this evening, as in go into detail or anything like that. I'll save the gooshy shit for tease_and_tear tomorrow, but really?

That man was positively mush by the time I finished him off, which wasn't long.

New record. Ten minutes. Not even, actually.

I want to write more about my l33t fucking blowjay skills, but again, tease_and_tear will get that tomorrow. Now, I sleep, as I haven't for ummm a week now?

Thank you, thank you, thank you very much.

*does the Nixon thing and storms off LJ with Maneater playing from a ghetto blaster*

I had a very nice weekend.

Saturday, Lisa went and cooked a wonderful stir-fry dinner for Chris, Greg and I. After we ate, she and Chris went up to Friendly's and made everyone ice creams for dessert. Greg and I then played hide-and-seek around the condo (yes, I know, mature.) and when she came back, Chris and Greg went out on a packie run. Lisa and I sat in my living room eating cherries and laughing like thirteen-year-olds...

When the boys came back, we played the most epic game of Kings EVER.

Some memorable quotes.

*while playing Bust-A-Rhyme*

Chris: I fry my bacon in a pan.
Lisa: ...I'm a member of the Klu Klux Klan!
Everyone: ROTFLOL.

Greg: The category is "punk bands". Sex Pistols.
Chris: The Ramones.
Lisa: Sex Pistols.
Me: *drunk* ........The Strokes?
All: .......*judges, then laughs*

So everyone left, and I went to sleep, only to wake a few hours later to my roommate and her girlfriend drunkenly feeding the cats leftover stir-fry 0.o.

Sunday...my anniversary. Greg and I didn't really do anything, though, but that was just fine. We laid around and watched Vacancy (I thought it was horrifying, he thought it was stupid) and diddled. Lots. Seriously devoted like eight hours to sexual activity. :D And then Mike called and told us that the Korean place finally opened and was having a free food grand opening day, so we enjoyed a free buffet of sushi and steamed white rice. The sushi was excellent. And we got special treatment because Greg's friend worked there. ^_^ Even if they were out of diet coke and I had to drink regular (gross.)

So I'm not working today and I wish I was *twiddles thumbs* Nothing to do. =[ *sad Ashe*

Greg showed me Boogiepop Phantom. So many people have recommended it to me, but...I hated it. It's hard to follow. It's slow. I don't understand it (maybe I'm stupid) and the art isn't all that impressive, either. :-/ I sat there thinking "Huh?" the whole time, and also, that BELL *grits her teeth* Annoying.

I wasn't really paying attention, either, because he kept undressing me/giving me hickeys xDD

( So we had sex for like three hours instead. )

We had a nice dinner at South Garden afterwards. I said "Good night, sweet prince, may flights of angels sing thee to thy rest" as a parting shot, and he smiled a lot and blushed really hard. I explained to him what the context was when Horatio says that in Hamlet and he was really miffed because he didn't realize that it was related to death. (but I'm convincing him to read the comic version of the play, since he now knows about the incest controversy of the era/Ophelia's madness/circumstances of the Prince's demise and he was really interested. Word.)

Also, everyone, my boyfriend is a pretty DAMN good artist. O_O Saw his old art portfolio and I was like "Damn." WAY better than me.

So tomorrow night we're celebrating Deb's birthday by going to Club Hell and I've never been clubbing before, ever. Nervous. O_O Should be a good time, though.

( Just when I think I've gotten him figured out, he goes and pulls something like this and I feel like complete trash for being angry at him (TMI) )

We also watched the whole Elfen Lied series which was REALLY FUCKING GOOD. It was way better than I thought it would be...I was in fact very impressed by it. It was dark, sad, and funny, but it also legitimately disturbed me in some ways (Dog. 'Nuff said.)

Cosplay ideas a-blooming.

I'm bushed. Gonna do situps and sleep.

( I'm dirty. SO dirty. xDD )

We're going ghost hunting with rikkux211 tomorrow and it's gonna be balliiin.

Yeah, time to go beddy bye so I can wake up tomorrow and go running. Noite!

( The part where Ashe talks about the great sex she had today. )

Um, rabble, we went to his house and watched Interview with the Vampire. It was the first time he saw it, and he liked it a lot, but I kept squealing over Armand and calling Louis a little emo-child vampire, and he didn't understand me babbling about Anne Rice, so I felt really bad by the time the movie was over, lol. He's addicted, though, and wants to watch Queen of the Damned next. ^_^

We dicked around for awhile, and I went to straddle him and he accidentally kneed me in the vagina.

Me: *whimpering in pain*
Greg: *staring, trying not to laugh* Did...did I just...honey did I just cunt punt you?
Both: .....*LOL*

We went to McDonald's and the lady messed up his burger, so he got really pissed and threw it in the parking lot xD And then he drove me home, and here I am.

Ahh. Good day xDDD

So last night, I learned the valuable life’s lesson of how drinking does not make your problems go away.

As you all know, my mother left us, and there has been bad drama with her going on. I came home last night to grab my brandy and change into cooler clothes, and she was there, with my aunt and uncle who had randomly showed up for no reason. I said hullo to my aunt and uncle, but I totally ignored her. That really pissed her off I guess, because she was trying to be Miss Perfect Hostess in front of the relatives (really, who CARES? ESPECIALLY if they’re the in-laws and you don’t live here anymore.) but it made me quite angry to see that the bitch had dared to show her face at the house again.

So that anger quickly manifested itself into “fuck this, I’m getting drunk.”

And, long story short, I was embarrassing. I was the drunk girl. I kept trying to swan dive off of Lauren’s porch. I forgot close friend’s names. I didn’t even QUESTION whether or not Greg was okay to drive, I just got into the car and eventually stumbled into Cumby’s, blasted out of my mind. I bought a slushie which I then dumped in the parking lot two seconds later. We went to Ryan and Blair’s place and the SECOND we got there I stumbled into the bathroom and gakked my fucking brains out. I kept yelling for Blair even though she was in Providence, and I puked so much that Mike said I eventually was vomiting pure stomach acid. If it hurt, I didn’t notice. The vomiting did nothing to aid my inebriation, I may have settled my guts a bit, but I was still plowed to the extent that I couldn’t fucking walk.

We watched a few episodes of Cowboy Bebop and Hellsing, but eventually we started watching porn. Don’t ask me how or why, but we did. And of course, I’m trashed, and start sucking on Greg’s fingers, and he starts calling me a tease, so he told everyone we were going to go get food and were coming back later.

Well, that was a dirty fucking lie.

What really happened was us parking off in the woods somewhere by Cobb’s Corner and having really rough, filthy sex in the bed of his truck that I only really partially remember. I guess I was screaming, so he had to cover my mouth, I remember that. I don’t remember anything else, though. He did say that it was amazing even though he felt wicked white trash for doing it. Lol.

So it’s 4 AM at this point, and Greg decides he wants a big mac. So we pull up to McDonald’s, and the lady took too long to take his order, so he SPED off into the night, dropped Tony off, and went to drop me off.

Well, I lost my housekey.

AGAIN.
I slept in the fucking car last night. I woke up at 7AM to my father letting Chloe out, and I slid out and staggered up to the house. He just LAUGHED at me.

Dad: …did you SLEEP in there?
Me: …lost my key…
Dad: you were drinking, weren’t you?
Me: Yeah. Not gonna lie.
Dad: Well, go to bed, honey. *laughing*

And then my mother sent me a text message saying “U were rude and ignorant 2 me last nite” to which I replied that this was the second time she ran out on us like a little crybaby, and told her to stop texting me.

And this was her response, I shit you not.

“What do u care thought u were not going 2 miss me jane said u had probs I don’t stay in violent re lationships or didn’t dad tell u want he did? U get nothindont text me ps u ran out on me and treat me like shit go pierce something u r a bratt I did not raise bratts don’t know what u r”

That’s all her spelling and grammar, by the way. Pathetic, no? I hate her so much, she’s such a dumb fucking bitch. I hope she stays away.

So I showed the text message to my brother and we went out to eat together, smack talking her the whole time. It was awesome. But he said that I look like rent was due on the corner and I couldn’t pay. Didn’t know what I meant until I looked in the mirror, saw the MESS that my hair was, the crack-starved look in my eyes, and the GIANT fucking hickey on my neck that’s really gross. And miscellaneous bruises…

I’m pretty sure my boyfriend would uh. Kill me if I called him right now. So I’m gonna shower, and take a nap. It’s hot and I don’t want to do anything atm…

Just a side note. Has anyone seen the Prodigy music video for “Smack My Bitch Up”? I’m pretty fucking sure that was me last night…I really was that drunk. Disgusting.

I had a six hour shift tonight, and it FLEW by. Why, do you ask?

Because people came to see me.

Greg and Mike stopped in, to say hey and so I could give Greg his present. The same time they came in, Lisa and Gabe dropped by, and just...chaos reigned supreme...

Lisa: *holding up a beauty mask* Ashe. ASSSSHE. Ashe, PUT IT ON.
Me: NO!
Greg: I'll put it on! *does so, cheerfully*
Mike: oooh, boobies! BOOOOBIIIEESSSS!
Greg: *still wearing the beauty mask and giggling happily*
Lisa: *goes out back and comes back with shoplifter evidence--a half-empty bottle of diet coke* ASHE, WTH IS THIS?
Mike: Boobies? BOOOBIIESSS....

*as I'm ringing out customers, I'm babysitting these fools*

Me: 20 on pump six? yeah, sure. LISA, PUT THAT DOWN! $6.83 is your change, sir, GREG, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, TAKE THAT OFF!

Etc, etc, etc. It was funny. I think I'm going to draw a picture of it. That'll be a better way of explaining it, just because it was pure chaos. Hilarious chaos, though.

Lisa and Gabe peaced out so Greg and Mike dicked around my store for like an hour. They literally stood around the slushie machine and Greg was dancing around going "Fifty bucks, little man, put that shiz, IN MAH HAND!!!"

I was like peeing my pants laughing. Not just because it was a Clerks reference but because MY boyfriend, who's like 5'8 and weighs like 120 was gangster rapping and beat boxing around a Cumberland Farms...

So I ignored my job for like 45 minutes and we all stood outside and smoked and Greg kept attacking me orally because he was amazingly turned on by my lip ring :D Score. He also half-jokingly tried to coerce me into a quickie in the freezer. It was one of those "I'm going to pretend this is a joke, but if she goes along with it SHAWEET." He played it out like the Spanish guy in Waiting... It was funny.

Greg: I see you have a back room in this store.
Me: yeah?
Greg: So um. Ever do it in a freezer?
Me: O_O
Greg: Come OOOOON baby.
Me: There're cameras EVERYWHERE.
Greg: You were just saying how much you don't care about this job...
Me: NO!
Greg: But it'll be badass!
Me: NO YOU JUST WANT TO SAY YOU FUCKED ME IN A FREEZER!!!!!!!!!! *salads* >:O

So that was that. :D And I giggled the rest of my shift.

I still think it's pretty funny xD

( The constant force within my heart is you... )

Oh, and I know I've lost a few friends on here because they "can't take" me writing about my boyfriend and sex and relationships and whatnot. I personally don't see what the fucking problem is, considering that I put the explicit shit behind a cut, and if I want to write about my love life, I'm going to. Why? Because it's my journal. God, I hate LJ drama. These people know who they are. The ones who sent me angry/annoyed messages on FB. Yeah. Fuck you. I'm sorry I'm not emoing around my blog.

Anyfuck.

http://www.songmeanings.net/lyric.php?lid=4963&offset=25&page=2#comments

Look at these idiots trying to analyze Riders on the Storm..... *headdesk* I loathe stupid people.

So, I just had an EXREMELY vivid sex dream involving the sister of one of my good friend's boyfriend. And, consequently, I am now horny as FUCK and have no way of, hem, "relieving" myself until 3 or 4 o'clock this afternoon.

Well, Stormy Llewellyn believed in delayed gratification...maybe I can convince myself into following the same philosophy.

Just...DAMN! Really now, the only way I'd EVER be able to score with her would be in my dreams...

Copied from Christian's blog...

So a recent Newsweek article (yes, I'm a geek and read various news magazines), ran an article about how sex is very important in maintaining one's health. So here are SIX official reasons why we should ALL be getting laid.

1. Fights Colds and Flu - Raises the levels of immune-boosting antibody immunoglobin A. Good idea for this winter!

2. Beauty Treatment - "It raises a woman's estrogen level, which helps make hair shiny and skin supple." Also, having sex four times a week on average made one's appearance seem to be seven to twelve years younger than what they are.

3. Burns Calories - Always a classic excuse to get laid. In fact it burns off an average of four calories a minute.

4. Migraine Killer - The increase in endorphins and corticosteroids during arousal and orgasm is analgesic and will cut back the headaches for you. NO EXCUSES NOW!

5. Promotes Regular Menstrual Cycle - For the ladies out there who get frustrated with the mechanics down there.

6. Prevents Accidents - Well, not talking about catching a hummer . . . that's could be an accidnt. Actually this is about the ladies again. We all know when you get too old, you lose bladder control, but using that pelvic muscle frequently early on reduces that chance. So screw today for a better tomorrow!

Many other researchers out there have scientifically concluded more reasons to get laid . . . so to get through this winter, and decrease the aggrivations this holiday season . . . LET'S ALL GET LAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, god! This better not be a cold I'm getting . . .

Come on guys. Siriusly xDD

Finally got my "birthday present" from Greg.

You know, I'd describe how amazing it was, I really would.

But I'm literally-LITERALLY-still QUAVERING from the multiple orgasms delivered in quick succession.

Fingers and toes gradually restoring feeling to them.

I still SMELL like sex.

...three hours. Wow.

You know, last night was interesting.

I'm not attesting to anything. But I MIGHT have--

• Done five or six shots of strawberry vodka...
  
• Dragged Greg off into the fucking BASEMENT to have sex...
  
• Gotten freezing water thrown on me whilst in the middle of said escapade...
  
• watched NW and Sonata Artica perform Beauty and the Beast and cried about not having gone to see them...
  

Um, fire?

Yeah. Definitely fire, and adventures in Blue Hills, and numerous sexual inneuendos with gummy bears, and um...I don't remember xD

Greg may make silly faces when he's shooting vodka, but Tony's way funnier, 'cos he coughs and shit xD lolololololofuckingl.

Greg: *comes home from getting the alcohol, kisses me*
Me: *tasting the vodka* Are you drinking ALREADY!?!?!?!
Greg: *shifty eyes*
All: ....LOL


But yeah, I've decided that I would like an ipod, and that I'm going to buy one this weekend, if I can. I'm sick of my mp3 player shitting out on me all the time.

TokyoKid in a week, suckers. I'm going as Yukari because I can't find a decent Alexiel wig ANYWHERE (and I've tried like 5 stores).

I have a sweet Yukari wig though. I think, in a few minutes I'll put it on and do my makeup...take some photos. See what ya'all think.

Today sucked.

Drama at work.

Drama at this party, even though I met a few cool people tonight.

Eventually Greg got sick of people and took me back to his house. Messing around turned into an hour and a half of intense lovemaking, then cuddling and watching of The Crow. Totally fucking amazing. I said I was cold after, so he wrapped me up in all of his blankets, wound his legs and arms around me, and held me really close to him. ^_^ Made the anemic one really happyful-like.

Did I mention the sex was fantastic and beyond any description? And that I totally made him bleed from raking my nails down his back? And yeah, I was moaning so loudly that he had to cover my mouth. xD Shit happens.

*wishing she could have slept over...*

I just ate a huge slice of chocolate cake.

Yeah, deadly sins xD

Sara tied Greg's wrists together above his head with a shoelace. I blindfolded him with my scarf.

Hottest thing I've ever seen in my life. MRAOWR!

Yesterday...was really an emotional roller coaster ride.

It started out horrifically. I was fighting with my mum about mundane things and she just kept starting arguments with no merit at all whatsoever. I was practically in tears of frustration by the time Greg came to get me, it was so bad.

I talked to him for a little while while we were on the road and things got better pretty quickly. Once we got to Tony's, I was even giggling a little bit, we were sitting around watching Outlaw Star and laughing at the ref in this boxing game...but then shit just PLUMMETED.

Chu came home and she and Tony got into this huge fight over Ellen. It was even worse than what was happening with me and my mum...he was sobbing so hard that like...he was almost on the verge of dry heaves. Jesus and Sam came over and we tried to make him feel better, but then his brother came home and Dalton just started flipping the fuck out and SCREAMING at him. About then was when me, Greg, Jesus, and Sam all decided that we all wanted to run outside for a smoke. Lol xD

So we did, and then Tony came staggering out of the house even worse off than he was before. Chu had kicked Dalton out, even though he was supposed to be staying for the weekend, and about then was when we were all just like "fuck this, let's go get drunk."

We hit the mall for a bit first, and on the way home we were screaming the "NIGGER I HATE YOUR FACE" song out the windows xD It was funny in an angst filled sort of way. The funniest part was when Dalton looked at me with this huge goofy smile and was like "I love racism ^_^"

So we went to Shaw's to buy chasers, and then...Greg led us through the fucking BOONDOCKS of Stoughton to the middle of the woods where we then proceeded to build a bonfire and pass around bottles of vodka.

It was seriously one of the most chill things I've ever done. No one was obnoxious, no one was making out, there was no drama...we were just sitting there and TALKING. There were only five of us and just like...I had a *lot* of fun.

Of course eventually we started hearing coyotes so we decided to leave, and Greg and I were more than a little tipsy when we got to my house. My dad was high though, so it was all good. I was like fumbling with my keys and Greg was like "Chyeah, we went and saw Superbad. It was MAAAAD funny. xD" And he believed him just fine. Funny shit. I love having stoners for parents sometimes, because I can get away with that kind of codswallop.

So we staggered upstairs and messed around a fuck of a lot. And after we messed around a fuck of a lot we actually had sex. (Yup, Ashe isn't a virgin anymore. Mark the date *eyeroll*) And...then we messed around some more. And then we went to sleep. xD

I woke up really early this morning because I've developed a nasty case of the flu. I staggered into my bathroom to discover my eyeliner running down my face, my eyes totally bloodshot, and a myriad of bruises/scratches/bitemarks/hickeys all over my neck o.O So I went to work with concealer for like an hour and slithered back into bed so my mother wouldn't scream at us. Lol.

And um, yeah. I'm still sick. ;.; What I'd give for some Dayquil...

Look, pictures!

Prelude to one of the most awesome nights evz0rz:


We're cute. Squeal over us. or die.

Okay. *blinks, trying to gather the nerve to explain*

My mother approached me today. Let me make that very clear. She came to me. She approached me, and said that yesterday she made me a doctor's appointment in which I will be tested/prescribed birth control. Apparently, it's "perfectly natural" for seventeen-year-old-girls to have sex, and "now that I have a boyfriend," it's "a good idea to be safe" because "though we love your brother VERY much, it sucks to be eighteen years old and a single mom".

My mother is PERFECTLY FUCKING WILLING to allow me to go and have as much sex as I want with whoever I want as long as I don't get myself pregnant, yet SHE WON'T FUCKING LET ME GET A LIP RING?! W.T.F?!?!?!?!

I'm not angry.

I'm just...confused.

It's natural for something like this to confuse someone, right? O_O

So yeah *clears her throat* I'm...I'm going to go to this Val woman on Friday to get my medusa. Just because....my mother's perceptions of right and wrong are that horifically skewed...*blank stare* If they REALLY freak out over it I'll just be like "WHAT? You'll let me have SEX, but you won't let me fucking get a PIERCING?!"

Tomorrow, work at Chu's, and then much hanging out with Greg *gleam* I know pet_thekat and various other people via MySpace messages have asked for photos, so maybe I'll coerce him into taking some with me xD? Idk. Now that mum's said that to me, I can maybe ask her if he can sleep over Friday. Just because I now know it's not totally out of the question ._.; Freakishly enough...

Anyways.

Here's something pointless that made me LOL.



Sleepy time for Ashe, because she has work at the crack of dawn tomorrow ._.

Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me
I think they're okay
If they don't give me proper credit
I just walk away

They can beg and they can plead
But they can't see the light, that's right
'Cause the boy with the cold hard cash
Is always Mister Right

'Cause we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl
You know that we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl

Some boys romance, some boys slow dance
That's all right with me
If they can't raise my interest then I
Have to let them be

Some boys try and some boys lie but
I don't let them play
Only boys that save their pennies
Make my rainy day

'Cause we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl
You know that we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl

Boys may come and boys may go
And that's all right you see
Experience has made me rich
And now they're after me

'Cause everybody's living in a material world
And I am a material girl
You know that we are living in a material world
And I am a material girl



Is it really very bad if this song has essentially become my new philosophy?

I mean, honestly. Weetzie, Dirk and I had a conversation about it just last week.

So what if I sleep around? Who fucking cares? Society has progressed past the 'sex is a sin unless you're married and plan on making babies' stage, and you know what, it's not like I'm doing it with a new guy every day. My sexual encounters have amounted to an astounding 5 (or six or seven, but who the hell is counting? I'm not), and know what, I've yet to go all the way.

But I still have people calling me a slut. People who are in relationships and who have sex roughly twice a day.

Being in a relationship absolutely does not exclude you from being nymphomaniacal.

So what's the goddamn difference if I do it with multiple people? They KNOW that I don't plan on maintaining a relationship.

If you're going to call me a whore for this--whatever. I'm seventeen years old, almost eighteen. I have no desire at all whatsoever to commit to anyone at the moment.

So yeah. STFU. :-P

It's raining.

The good kind of rain. The heavy, warm kind.

Gah. I need sex. Right now.

*humps a rosebush*